I'm fine
"I'm fine," the words that we hide behind. These words that cover up the pain and sadness, hide the anger and frustration. These words combined with a forced smile. A chronic smile. When you spend your life hiding behind words and fake smiles, you create your own little illusion. The fact is you aren't convincing anyone that you are actually fine, that smile is fooling nobody who knows you. It does, however, make you feel better. You feel better believing that you have somehow saved another person from listening to your story.
We get tired of people feeling bad for us, we don't want you to be sorry. You didn't cause our pain, we didn't cause our pain, its just there. You do not have to feel bad about something you had nothing to do with. More often we feel bad that we cause you to feel pain for us. We feel awful to have burdened you with our pain.
If I could make any suggestions to someone who has a loved one dealing with any chronic condition they are as follows:
-Please don't say you hope they get better, depending on what's wrong, they may never ever get better. Saying you hope they do sometimes feels like someone is saying you are not fine the way you are, you need to be better.
-If they say they are fine, just say okay, don't question them and insist they aren't fine. Most likely they don't want to burden you with what's wrong and don't want you to feel sorry for them.
-Don't treat them like a child who needs help, when they need help they will ask for it.
No we are not always fine, but we like those words because they are safe for us. Sometimes our smile is forced and fake, the energy we use to fake that smile should be enough to convince you that we mean it. We chose to hide behind the illusions for a reason, sometimes to convince others we are okay but more often to convince ourselves.
We get tired of people feeling bad for us, we don't want you to be sorry. You didn't cause our pain, we didn't cause our pain, its just there. You do not have to feel bad about something you had nothing to do with. More often we feel bad that we cause you to feel pain for us. We feel awful to have burdened you with our pain.
If I could make any suggestions to someone who has a loved one dealing with any chronic condition they are as follows:
-Please don't say you hope they get better, depending on what's wrong, they may never ever get better. Saying you hope they do sometimes feels like someone is saying you are not fine the way you are, you need to be better.
-If they say they are fine, just say okay, don't question them and insist they aren't fine. Most likely they don't want to burden you with what's wrong and don't want you to feel sorry for them.
-Don't treat them like a child who needs help, when they need help they will ask for it.
No we are not always fine, but we like those words because they are safe for us. Sometimes our smile is forced and fake, the energy we use to fake that smile should be enough to convince you that we mean it. We chose to hide behind the illusions for a reason, sometimes to convince others we are okay but more often to convince ourselves.
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