A New Normal
It's been over a month since this flare up started and most weeks ended with me feeling like I had been put through the wringer. So much happened in those few weeks; MRI's, blood tests, treatments, appointments, work changes. This last week I got through without a single treatment, test, or doctor's appointment. This is the new normal. It feels a little anti-climatic.
None of the treatments made me any better. None of the tests gave me any answers. Neither of my doctors can explain why my sed rate isn't lower after steroid treatment, or know what we should do about it. Our current plan, then... don't make any plans. I have follow-up appointments to redo tests and monitor my progress when it comes to walking, but we aren't going to change my medicine or relax any restrictions until we see more. So I guess I just go on with life, treat this as the new normal.
Every time something changes for me, I get a new normal. So far, I haven't been like a majority of people, the ones who have RRMS. I don't recover completely from new symptoms. they become a part of my life. That tingling and numbness, never went away. The vertigo, never went away. The electric shocks, thankfully got a lot better, but never went away. I'm a little concerned that I will never walk unencumbered again, if those trends hold true.
I'm not concerned enough to focus on it, though. It's not resolved, but history shows me that nothing regarding my treatment ever will be. So, when new things happen, I adjust and move on. I tweak old routines and create new ones. I learn to ignore symptoms or deal with them in ways that don't impede greatly on daily life. I live. Sometimes, though, a new symptom will come and alter my life so quickly that it seems like everyone in my home is scrambling to keep up. I want to continue living as much of my life between those experiences as possible. I want to keep saying that MS is a part of my life. MS isn't my whole life.
None of the treatments made me any better. None of the tests gave me any answers. Neither of my doctors can explain why my sed rate isn't lower after steroid treatment, or know what we should do about it. Our current plan, then... don't make any plans. I have follow-up appointments to redo tests and monitor my progress when it comes to walking, but we aren't going to change my medicine or relax any restrictions until we see more. So I guess I just go on with life, treat this as the new normal.
Every time something changes for me, I get a new normal. So far, I haven't been like a majority of people, the ones who have RRMS. I don't recover completely from new symptoms. they become a part of my life. That tingling and numbness, never went away. The vertigo, never went away. The electric shocks, thankfully got a lot better, but never went away. I'm a little concerned that I will never walk unencumbered again, if those trends hold true.
I'm not concerned enough to focus on it, though. It's not resolved, but history shows me that nothing regarding my treatment ever will be. So, when new things happen, I adjust and move on. I tweak old routines and create new ones. I learn to ignore symptoms or deal with them in ways that don't impede greatly on daily life. I live. Sometimes, though, a new symptom will come and alter my life so quickly that it seems like everyone in my home is scrambling to keep up. I want to continue living as much of my life between those experiences as possible. I want to keep saying that MS is a part of my life. MS isn't my whole life.
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