Borrowing from Tomorrow.
Last night I had the most amazing time. I have been struggling with some serious pain as of late and I went back and forth a hundred times with whether I was going to be able to go out or not. My choice was yes. Yes I absolutely needed to get out of the house and have a good time. My Uncle's band was playing close to our home and I did not want to miss the chance to see him.
I am so happy that we went. I feel like everything I have been worried about, all the extreme stress I have felt, well it was all lifted off of me for 5 hours. It was wonderful to see the love of my life smiling, dancing and laughing. To see all the weight he carries daily just float away for a little while. We chose not to talk about anything serious, including our kids (other than the occasional check in). We just enjoyed every minute.
I got to hug my Uncle several times, and though he probably thought I was crazy, it was just a nice feeling to hug family. My mom moved to another state and I have no extended family near by so those hugs were just reminders to me that they are still there for me. Technically they are my stepdads family and sometimes, although they have from day one let me know I am family, I feel like an outsider. Being able to watch him do what he does so incredibly on that stage and hug him was a reminder that I so desperately needed, a reminder that I still have people (outside of my immediate family) here.
Today, of course, I am paying dearly in the pain department. I borrowed all of today's spoons. That's okay though. It was worth every ounce of pain. It was exactly what we both needed to refresh ourselves. We needed time together to just be free and have fun. To remember how much fun we have together, as a couple and not just the people that go through the motions everyday.
My advice is this, let yourself borrow from tomorrow sometimes. Allow yourself that freedom. It truly does change your world for awhile!!
I am so happy that we went. I feel like everything I have been worried about, all the extreme stress I have felt, well it was all lifted off of me for 5 hours. It was wonderful to see the love of my life smiling, dancing and laughing. To see all the weight he carries daily just float away for a little while. We chose not to talk about anything serious, including our kids (other than the occasional check in). We just enjoyed every minute.
I got to hug my Uncle several times, and though he probably thought I was crazy, it was just a nice feeling to hug family. My mom moved to another state and I have no extended family near by so those hugs were just reminders to me that they are still there for me. Technically they are my stepdads family and sometimes, although they have from day one let me know I am family, I feel like an outsider. Being able to watch him do what he does so incredibly on that stage and hug him was a reminder that I so desperately needed, a reminder that I still have people (outside of my immediate family) here.
Today, of course, I am paying dearly in the pain department. I borrowed all of today's spoons. That's okay though. It was worth every ounce of pain. It was exactly what we both needed to refresh ourselves. We needed time together to just be free and have fun. To remember how much fun we have together, as a couple and not just the people that go through the motions everyday.
My advice is this, let yourself borrow from tomorrow sometimes. Allow yourself that freedom. It truly does change your world for awhile!!
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