An Introduction to Melissa
I would like to take this opportunity to not only introduce myself as a person but as a chronic warrior.
My name is Melissa Miller, I am a 35 year old mom of 2 children and 1 bonus child. My days can get very crazy as my oldest and only girl is 16 years old (can you say drama), my stepson is 12 and showing signs of pubescent changes and my baby boy is only 2. I no longer work outside of my home, when I did however, I was a very passionate hairstylist. I worked on everything from everyday clients to starlets in the making to photo shoots. Yes I am that ridiculously proud hairstylist who can say, " I knew Brenna D'Amico (from Disney's Descendents) as a small child with a big dream."
That life crashed to the ground though the day my body did. Let me talk about my diagnosis first. I have degenerative disc disease. This was by no means a foreign concept, my grandmother and mother both suffer from it, and yes it is genetic and far more common in women. It did take me by complete surprise though and I will tell you why: first of all it is very unusual to develop this at a young age (I was 31). Second it typically does not progress extremely quickly and third, like most of us, I just never thought it would happen to me.
My diagnosis came just 2 years after my mothers. It began with an incident at work where I lost all feeling in my extremities and hit the floor faster than a falling glass. A trip in the ambulance, several hours in the E.R., countless tests and 3 days of admittance later, I was told I was experiencing migraines that were mimicking a stroke. Okay I could live with that. Unfortunately everything continued to worsen and my primary doctor re-admitted me for more tests. A week later and the same answers from the same Neurologist. I spent months seeing this man, documenting my symptoms, taking the ridiculous amount of pills he put me on, to no avail. Finally my primary suggested I see a Neurosurgeon. This was my Godsend. Five minutes into my appointment and he had a very good idea of the problem. He sent me for MRI and found a disc that was bulging so deeply into my spinal cord that I was one bad move away from paralyzation. We went for fusion surgery 3 weeks later.
My name is Melissa Miller, I am a 35 year old mom of 2 children and 1 bonus child. My days can get very crazy as my oldest and only girl is 16 years old (can you say drama), my stepson is 12 and showing signs of pubescent changes and my baby boy is only 2. I no longer work outside of my home, when I did however, I was a very passionate hairstylist. I worked on everything from everyday clients to starlets in the making to photo shoots. Yes I am that ridiculously proud hairstylist who can say, " I knew Brenna D'Amico (from Disney's Descendents) as a small child with a big dream."
That life crashed to the ground though the day my body did. Let me talk about my diagnosis first. I have degenerative disc disease. This was by no means a foreign concept, my grandmother and mother both suffer from it, and yes it is genetic and far more common in women. It did take me by complete surprise though and I will tell you why: first of all it is very unusual to develop this at a young age (I was 31). Second it typically does not progress extremely quickly and third, like most of us, I just never thought it would happen to me.
My diagnosis came just 2 years after my mothers. It began with an incident at work where I lost all feeling in my extremities and hit the floor faster than a falling glass. A trip in the ambulance, several hours in the E.R., countless tests and 3 days of admittance later, I was told I was experiencing migraines that were mimicking a stroke. Okay I could live with that. Unfortunately everything continued to worsen and my primary doctor re-admitted me for more tests. A week later and the same answers from the same Neurologist. I spent months seeing this man, documenting my symptoms, taking the ridiculous amount of pills he put me on, to no avail. Finally my primary suggested I see a Neurosurgeon. This was my Godsend. Five minutes into my appointment and he had a very good idea of the problem. He sent me for MRI and found a disc that was bulging so deeply into my spinal cord that I was one bad move away from paralyzation. We went for fusion surgery 3 weeks later.
It has been 3 years since my initial surgery, unfortunately for me it has caused my disease to progress faster. I sit here today with yet another disc that is bulging deeply into my spinal cord and another that is compressing my nerves. I have a wonderful pain specialist who is helping me to put surgery off for a bit with the use of spinal injections, nerve blockers and a medication regimine, but we won't be able to put it off for long.
There is a lot you learn about yourself when your body betrays you. That is how I feel at least, as if my body has betrayed me. The first thing you learn is that you can endure pain you never thought possible. The second is you are stronger than you ever imagined. I have lost so much from this disease. Financially it has put us through the wringer, my hands and arms go numb so often that working has become an impossibility for me. Physically everything is more difficult and my pain is constant, my very best days being a level 6 pain. Medically, I have watched my overall health decline rapidly. The part that has challenged me the most, however, has been the emotional toll. The constant fear of moving the wrong way depresses me, not being able to do for my kids what I want to devastates me, even just taking a pain pill causes me great anxiety. I have had a very difficult time with the judgement. Not just from the pharmacy counter when they fill my opioid pain medicine, or from the doctor's who do not always understand but mostly from people who know me well. People who have doubted that things are so bad to the point that I had to show my medical records.
This has already been a long journey for me and it is one I will face for my entire life. I have even, like many of us, contemplated suicide. At some point recently, I cannot even pinpoint it, I had a change of heart. I told myself that even when it seems easier to end it rather than live it, it is not. I decided that I would look for the positive in my pain. I look forward to being able to share with you my journey, my hope and yes even my bad days. I hope you can find something within my words to help you move forward with life or something that will help you better understand your loved one.
My suggestion to you would be to pick up a copy of The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino. It has helped me tremendously!
Welcome Spoonies!!!
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